


Yes, Tom - Chapter 5

by riddlemetitillatedhiddles (ninecats)



Series: Yes, Tom [5]
Category: Actor RPF, British Actor RPF
Genre: Angst, Dom/sub, F/M, Rough Sex, Sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-09-28
Updated: 2012-09-28
Packaged: 2017-11-15 05:33:12
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,255
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/523708
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ninecats/pseuds/riddlemetitillatedhiddles
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Beware of angst...</p>
    </blockquote>





	Yes, Tom - Chapter 5

**Author's Note:**

> Beware of angst...

 

My alarm went off at 5, per Tom's request, although most days I was up that early anyway. I reached over him to turn off my phone and he grabbed me, pulling me on top of him, his hands on my thighs. I could feel he was semi-erect. _God, he's horny all the time._

"Good morning, darling." He grinned at me, his eyes sparkling as the morning sun reflected off his irises. So beautiful. Aquamarine, like the open ocean. So calming.

"Good morning," I laid my head on his chest, just listening to his heartbeat, his breathing, feeling his chest rise and fall. He kissed me on the forehead, running his fingers through my hair. 

"Is your neck sore?" His thumb traced across my throat where his hands had been the night before.

"No, it doesn't really hurt."

"So you're okay?" He waited expectantly for my answer, although I think he knew it already.

"I'm good," I smiled sheepishly. To be honest, I felt fucking incredible. Like I was floating. I didn't want to admit so much, though. "Better than good, actually."

"You look fantastic. You're glowing, sweetheart, really," he remarked, looking completely amused. 

I angled my hips, pushing into his growing erection and he groaned. The sound flowed out of him like some kind of auditory aphrodisiac. "Are you always this horny?" I mused, adjusting my hips again.

He chuckled lightly, then leaned into me, his tongue meeting mine. I melted into him. His eyes opened, forcefulness overshadowing the lighthearted look he had just seconds before. "No, not always. Just when I'm with you."

"I…" Before I could finish Tom reached down, gripping me by the waist and rolling me over so that he was between my legs. I squeaked, not expecting his sudden aggressiveness. 

"Put your hands above your head and touch your fingers to the headboard," he commanded gruffly, so I stretched my arms up, the movement causing my naked breasts to jut out. I pressed my fingers up against the headboard, but I could barely reach, so I arched my back, closing the distance only with the extra effort. "Don't move them."

Reaching down, he rubbed my clitoris briefly with his thumb, then slid one finger into my slit, curling it towards him. "Oh god, Tom, ahhh…" I flinched a little at the contact. To be honest, I was sore; I was not used to the constant activity. It had been months since I was in a sexual relationship, and even my most adventurous ex-lovers were not as demanding as Tom. Even so, I was already wet. I couldn't resist him.I didn't want to.

He hooked my legs up and over his shoulders, entering me roughly as he grabbed my wrists, pinning them to the mattress. "Fuck," he growled, thrusting into me, his cock hitting places I didn't think existed. My body shook as his fingers tightened around me. "You like that don't you? You like it rough, don't you?"

I gasped, trying to catch my breath, his lips alternately on mine and on my neck. "Yes," I whimpered, my body on overload, my brain following suit. But the look on his face. He was a wild animal. 

He rose to a kneeling position, lifting my legs above my shoulders, and holding them in place with his forearms. The added leverage allowed him even deeper access as he plunged repeatedly into me, heightening every sensation. I felt like I was on a precipice, that I would fall at any moment. 

Pulling completely out, he pushed his cock against my clitoris, teasing me mercilessly, but not allowing me to build any sustained stimulation. "Please, Tom…" He re-entered me, fast and hard, ignoring my pleas and pushing instead headlong towards his own pleasure, quick and dirty.

"Elizabeth, fuck, oh yes," his voice guttural, the words almost indecipherable. He began to convulse, his body recoiling and advancing at once. Then his face just sort of relaxed, every tensed muscle loosening, his eyes fluttering like a bird's wings. "Elizabeth," he said again, the orgasm turning his features angelic once again. 

He released my legs, looking down at me with clear eyes, his face serene. I couldn't stop shaking. His hands met mine and he wrapped my arms around his neck, kissing me softly, moaning. "Are you okay, darling? You just… I can't…."

"It's okay." I reassured him, my voice still uneven, my body still in shock.

"Oh, you look precious right now. I don't know which is better, making you come or refusing to let you. When you fall apart in my arms, I can barely control myself. But making you suffer is incredibly sweet." He was smiling, his tone lighthearted, and then he suddenly changed. "You're like a drug, darling." The solemn look on his face frightened me, but I quickly disregarded it. 

He kissed me again, then rolled over on his back and stared at the ceiling for a few seconds before he got up. "Don't fret, love. You will get your release, too. I just want you to do something special for me."

"Anything." I smiled sweetly, playfully, rolling onto my side and running my fingers along his side. Just touching him. I could do it for hours. Days. His skin, so fair and smooth. I could spend weeks just memorizing every hair, every freckle, every scar.

"When you take a shower today, I want you to masturbate for me. Before you come, you will stop. You will count to ten. Then you can make yourself orgasm. I want you to say my name when you come, only that, nothing else, do you understand?"

"Yes, Tom." As he got dressed, I stared at him, this man that I had fantasized about for so long. I felt a little lost. Just then he turned, his face lighting up with that effervescent smile, his eyes full of sweetness.

"Meet you in an hour, okay? Just come to my room. Don't be late."

"Okay." My whole body relaxed as he kissed me on the forehead then breezed out of the room. I smiled; everything else faded away. I got up to take a shower, all thoughts on Tom.

 

We continued on like this for almost three weeks. Each night, we would spend time in my room, usually watching movies and eating dinner. Then we had incredibly mind-blowing, occasionally very rough sex. I had been working so hard, trying to learn how to be a personal assistant (which, surprisingly, was a lot more demanding than I had expected), and trying to learn how to be in this relationship, or whatever it was. I was stressed out, and a bit lonely. I couldn't talk to anyone, and I still found it very difficult to open up to Tom. At least about my feelings. And while he talked a lot to me, it felt like he didn't actually say much.

 

Everyone on set was excited because there was going to be a party that Friday for the cast and crew. I assumed I would go alone, despite being a tad unhappy about it, since Tom and I were still officially non-existent. As the relationship progressed, it became harder and harder to hide my developing feelings. Everything happened so quickly, and with such intensity, it was hard not to become attached. I felt like Tom had feelings too, but hiding our relationship made me self-conscious and insecure.

When I saw Sarah that Wenesday, I asked if she was going to the party. Even though I wished I could go with Tom, I was kind of looking forward to having a night off. I was constantly sore and, to be honest, a break did not sound terrible.

She narrowed her eyes at me, then retorted, "Aren't you going with Tom?"

My face lost all color and my stomach twisted into a knot. _What the hell is she talking about?_ I laughed her off. "What do you mean? Of course not."

She tapped her foot on the ground, her hands on her hips. "Oh come on. I mean, everyone knows. I can't believe you didn't tell me."

I searched her face, praying she was joking, as I tried to formulate what to say next. "I don't… I mean, I don't know what…"

"Ellie, everyone is talking about it. Someone saw him leave your room at like 5 in the morning. How stupid do you think I am?"

_What do I do?_ I didn't know if she was fucking with me, if she was being completely honest, or if she had heard something and just wanted to trick me into verifying it. 

"Well? I know it's true, Ellie. How true is it?" She seemed really angry that I hadn't told her. I started to worry. But if someone had seen Tom leaving my room, why didn't Tom see them? And if he did, why didn't he tell me?

I began to bite my fingernails as I stammered, "I can't…"

"Oh my fucking god it is true! Jesus, Ellie, I thought it was a bunch of shit! I told everyone, 'There's no way'. You're so nervous around him, I said, 'She'd pass out at one kiss'. I can't believe this!"

Tears welled up in my eyes as I collapsed onto the ground. "I can't, Sarah, I mean, you don't understand…" My chin quivered, tears falling hard and fast down my cheeks.

"Oh, Ellie, I didn't mean to make you cry. I'm sorry," she sat down on the ground with me, grabbing my hand and pulling me to her. "Oh sweetie."

"I don't know what to do. Everything is so confusing. You can't tell anyone- you can't. I mean it. Please, you can't." I stared at her, the tears blurring my vision, my voice sounding pathetic.

She hugged me. "I won't tell. But really, everyone knows. I can't believe you haven't heard. I think you're the only one who hasn't. I know Chris knows. He overheard some people joking about it and he told them to mind their own business."

"Wait, Chris knows?"

"Yes, I was there. I heard him say it, so I know he knows about the rumors. He must have told Tom. He didn't mention it to you?"

"Umm, no, he didn't." I held my head in my hands for a moment, trying to sort through everything. "I have to go. I'll text you later, okay? Promise me, please promise me you won't say anything. I didn't really admit anything, you know I didn't." Frantic now, I was terrified that if Tom really didn't know, it would somehow get back to him that I told her, and then… I didn't know, but I didn't want to find out. 

"Why are you freaking out so bad?"

"Just promise me! I mean it!"

"Of course I won't." The hurt showed on her face. 

"You just don't understand and I can't tell you. I'm sorry. I'll text you later." I held her hand, squeezing it and trying to smile.

"Okay, sweetie. Sorry."

I left her sitting there and ran to find a private place where I could call Tom. I finally just went back to his trailer. Suddenly I was more than aware of the stares and whispers. _Oh god, Sarah's right. Everyone is talking about me._ I felt humiliated. 

Tom wasn't there, so I called him. I knew he should be done with filming, and we were supposed to meet soon, anyway. 

"Elizabeth?"

"Tom, oh my god, I really need to talk to you. Please," I cried, my whole world falling apart around me. 

"Darling, what's wrong? Are you okay?" He sounded scared.

"No, I need you to come to the trailer, please…" 

"Sure, I'll be right there."

He was there within 10 minutes, although it felt like years. I was sobbing uncontrollably by this time, terrified that he'd be mad, and even worse, upset that he might have hidden so much from me. I felt like I was the only one on the entire set that didn't know about the rumors. _God, I'm such an idiot._

"Darling?" Tom's face was twisted in a knot of concern and fear as he entered. Sitting on the floor, I looked up at him and could only continue to sob. "Oh, Elizabeth, what's wrong?" He knelt next to me, pulling me into his arms, trying his best to calm me. 

"I… everyone is talking… and you didn't tell me and now they're staring and I didn't tell anybody but Sarah says everyone knows and…" I was hysterical by this point, crying and trying to explain but everything tried to come out at once.

"Elizabeth? Calm down." He kissed me on the forehead then lifted my chin up, forcing me to look at him. "Darling? Seriously, just calm down."

His voice was stern, but not mean. Firm. I swallowed hard, trying to calm my breathing, the tears still falling hard and fast down my cheeks.

"I'm… why didn't you tell me?" Steadying my voice, I looked at him, wondering why he would do this to me. "Everybody knows about us. Sarah said even Chris knows. You can't tell me you didn't!"

Tom looked away for a moment, silent, the only sounds my choking cries as I tried to quiet down. "I'm sorry. Really, I'm sorry." His brow furrowed and his eyes began to soften. "I should have told you. I did know. I'm sorry, I guess I…"

He took my hand, kissing it softly, then pressing it against his chest. "I was worried, I suppose. I didn't want to, I don't know..." he trailed off, exhaling audibly as he sat, choosing his words carefully.

"Just tell me, Tom, please. You always think through everything so carefully I never know if you're… just making up lines. Sometimes I feel like you don't ever say _anything_." I pulled my hand from his, the tears forcing new trails down my red cheeks. I didn't know what to do. I felt so alone.

"Darling, I- I'm sorry." Glancing at his now-empty hand, he sighed. "I was afraid I'd lose you. I feel like I already know what I want from you, and I'm just waiting to see if you want it as well."

"What does that even mean?"

"I'm falling for you, Elizabeth. I have been. But… I don't know how to put this. Sex is easy; real emotion is not. I wanted to be sure you weren't…" he trailed off again.

"Weren't what?!" I yelled this time, past the point of frustration and every pent-up feeling I'd had for the past few weeks.

"Confusing real emotion for infatuation." I winced. He refused to meet my eyes, whispering it almost, as if he thought I might take it less harshly that way.

Disgusted, I couldn't speak. I sat there, staring at him as he gazed down at his hands, his fingers clasped together tightly.

"Is that really what you think of me? That somehow I don't have the ability to have real feelings for you?" I shook my head, pushing myself up and grabbing my things.

"That's not what I said, Elizabeth. You can't leave. We're not finished." It was a command, not a request. I turned, my face red, my eyes narrowed. 

"Seriously? Seriously?!" _He's going to pull this shit now?_

"I'm sorry I said it that way. I just want to be able to talk this through. Okay? Now sit down." The second time was a little softer, a little milder, but still clearly a directive. I squeezed my eyes shut, shaking my head in frustration, my fists clenched. Tears continued to force their way through my shut eyelids, dripping off my chin. I sat down, begrudgingly, near the door. Away from Tom.

"Thank you," he offered quietly. "I wasn't trying to insult you, darling, I was simply telling you how I feel. Isn't that what you wanted? Can't you understand at all why I'd be worried that you're not seeing the real me? That you're confusing me with some image you've built up?" He got up and moved next to me. I turned away, refusing to speak for a few seconds while he sat, continuing to wring his hands but otherwise waiting patiently for my response.

"Fine," I  began, turning to face him but leaning back to keep my distance. "I get it. But you're making this a catch-22. You don't let me see the real you, but then you blame me for not knowing the difference. How is that fair? You don't have to always be 'on' around me. You don't have to always tell funny stories or entertain me. I feel like you do it so you won't have to be vulnerable at all. If you were being honest, when you said you wanted this to be something more than sex, then you can't be in control of everything. You have to let me in." His eyes, weighted by sadness, locked onto mine. 

"I do want it to be something more, Elizabeth. You must know that. It's very hard for me to express how difficult this is. Do you realize that you know a part of me I've never completely revealed to anyone? It makes me very nervous." I took his hand in mine. So vulnerable. I wondered why he needed control so desperately. He looked drained without it, but I had no idea why.

    "Tom, I feel like I could fall in love with you. But I can't do that if you think I'm not trustworthy enough to share yourself with me. And that hurts. Deeply. I took a great leap of faith for you and I feel like you don't give me the same respect. I have given you everything you asked for. I'm willing to give you more. But I have to be able to ascertain my emotions on my terms. Everything else, I can give to you. But that, it has to be my own or obviously it won't be real."

Tom looked like he had the wind knocked out of him. "You're right. I'm sorry."

I reached out, tracing his bottom lip with my thumb. Shutting his eyes, he inhaled sharply. When his eyes found mine, they were clearer, like reflecting pools. He kissed me, his lips so tender, so giving. I wanted us to find our way. I just didn't know how. "So what do we do?"

I didn't know what Tom wanted. He always told me not to tell anyone anything, and here he had known about the rumor the whole time. It was confusing. "It's up to you sweetheart. I mean if it's okay, I would love to be able to tell people that we're together. I do trust you, you know. I know it may not seem that way from my behavior, but I trust you completely. Otherwise, I wouldn't be with you." His hand found my hip, grasping it tightly and pulling me to him. I straddled him and our mouths met again, lips and tongue indistinguishable, all the distress fading away in a swirl of passion.

I could barely catch my breath. I wanted to smile and cry and fuck all at the same time. He pushed my mind and body beyond anything I'd ever experienced. I shivered when I was with him. I ached for him when I wasn't.

"Okay," I said in between kisses, "then I guess it's official." His arms curled around me, holding me close, as if his life depended on it. I had never felt so safe and secure. 


End file.
